As there's nothing in the news, I am not sure if people actually know about this. But the last three days IN A ROW I was delayed for almost two hours when going to work due to people jumping in front of the trains on my route (and last week it happened as well once). I thought suicides were more often during autumn/winter times when people get depressed during the cold days but what happened now? Is it the hot weather? Or is it the MJ death? Is it the crisis?
I really do not understand. Did you have any similar experiences? What's your thoughts about it?
Full Version: Suicides in NL
can happen when the sun comes back and you realise you're still as unhappy as under the pouring rain....if the sun doesn't raise your spirit as it did when you were a kid, you can be lead to think nothing will 
QUOTE (layla-claire @ Jul 3 2009, 07:55 AM) 
can happen when the sun comes back and you realise you're still as unhappy as under the pouring rain....if the sun doesn't raise your spirit as it did when you were a kid, you can be lead to think nothing will
...extremely simplistic thinking...please read a book about suicide!
QUOTE (BubuNel @ Jul 2 2009, 10:40 PM)
As there's nothing in the news, I am not sure if people actually know about this. But the last three days IN A ROW I was delayed for almost two hours when going to work due to people jumping in front of the trains on my route (and last week it happened as well once). I thought suicides were more often during autumn/winter times when people get depressed during the cold days but what happened now? Is it the hot weather? Or is it the MJ death? Is it the crisis?
I really do not understand. Did you have any similar experiences? What's your thoughts about it?
I really do not understand. Did you have any similar experiences? What's your thoughts about it?
Halfweg is a bad place for that on the Haarlem-Amsterdam route.
But did you know for sure it was suicide? I mean, do they actually announce it as such?
It was not near Amsterdam, rather near Eindhoven. Well, they announce it as "aanrijding met een persoon" but from discussion with some NS lady I understood they were bits and pieces and they jumped in front. Also, considering it is three days in a row, I pretty much doubt they were simple accidents (what are the odds?!).
Anyway, after initially being annoyed by having to wait for hours in the sun to actually get a connection, I then realised it is very very sad that people actually do that. And then I started wondering whether they have some helplines where people can call, or whether pshycologists/psychiatrist actually help them deal with their problems.
Anyway, after initially being annoyed by having to wait for hours in the sun to actually get a connection, I then realised it is very very sad that people actually do that. And then I started wondering whether they have some helplines where people can call, or whether pshycologists/psychiatrist actually help them deal with their problems.
QUOTE (BubuNel @ Jul 3 2009, 04:30 PM)
It was not near Amsterdam, rather near Eindhoven. Well, they announce it as "aanrijding met een persoon" but from discussion with some NS lady I understood they were bits and pieces and they jumped in front. Also, considering it is three days in a row, I pretty much doubt they were simple accidents (what are the odds?!).
Anyway, after initially being annoyed by having to wait for hours in the sun to actually get a connection, I then realised it is very very sad that people actually do that. And then I started wondering whether they have some helplines where people can call, or whether pshycologists/psychiatrist actually help them deal with their problems.
Anyway, after initially being annoyed by having to wait for hours in the sun to actually get a connection, I then realised it is very very sad that people actually do that. And then I started wondering whether they have some helplines where people can call, or whether pshycologists/psychiatrist actually help them deal with their problems.
I just asked...and yeah they do have crisis hotlines. The Dutchie thinks it's called RIAGG...
I know people who have sought and found help for mental problems here. One person who stayed in a residential treatment centre due to a breakdown. So there is help out there. I suspect that those who jump in front of a train aren't crying out for help though...they're either playing chicken or WANT to die...
QUOTE (BubuNel @ Jul 3 2009, 03:30 PM)
It was not near Amsterdam, rather near Eindhoven. Well, they announce it as "aanrijding met een persoon" but from discussion with some NS lady I understood they were bits and pieces and they jumped in front. Also, considering it is three days in a row, I pretty much doubt they were simple accidents (what are the odds?!).
Anyway, after initially being annoyed by having to wait for hours in the sun to actually get a connection, I then realised it is very very sad that people actually do that. And then I started wondering whether they have some helplines where people can call, or whether pshycologists/psychiatrist actually help them deal with their problems.
Anyway, after initially being annoyed by having to wait for hours in the sun to actually get a connection, I then realised it is very very sad that people actually do that. And then I started wondering whether they have some helplines where people can call, or whether pshycologists/psychiatrist actually help them deal with their problems.
Same thing happened to me last year - I was on my way to Rotterdam and the train got cancelled and the lines had to be closed. Someone had jumped in front of one of the trains on that line. It took hours to straighten everything out and I was not able to reach my destination. I was quite grumpy about it but then, like you, I started to think about the poor soul who had taken his or her life in this manner and found it shocking and very sad. I remember watching a documentary a year or two back about London Transport and one of the train drivers who had this happen to him had to go sick for months and have counseling - which isn't surprising as it must be something that takes a long time to come to terms with - the fact that you watched someone kill themselves in front of the train you were driving. Very sad.
I lived about two years in an apartment in Rijswijk, behind the railwaytrack which is the busiest in the Swamp (the Rotterdam- Amsterdam line, every 3 minutes a train). There was a suicide almost every day, mainly because big concealing bushes were very conveniently located exactly at the road crossing. Finally (I had already moved) the Gemeente cut those bushes and there were much less suicides.
QUOTE (emilio416 @ Jul 3 2009, 06:55 PM)
I lived about two years in an apartment in Rijswijk, behind the railwaytrack which is the busiest in the Swamp (the Rotterdam- Amsterdam line, every 3 minutes a train). There was a suicide almost every day, mainly because big concealing bushes were very conveniently located exactly at the road crossing. Finally (I had already moved) the Gemeente cut those bushes and there were much less suicides.
The popular section on the Haarlem-Amsterdam route is right on the bridge going through Halfweg that runs over the roadway, right near the intersection of the A9 and Oranje Nassaustraat leading into Zwanenburg...We had to drive that way to get home and there were always cops and ambulances there because of a suicide...A couple of years ago they finally had to build a fence blocking the tracks to make it more difficult to access...
QUOTE (emilio416 @ Jul 3 2009, 09:04 AM)
...extremely simplistic thinking...please read a book about suicide!
relax, dude!
And I'm at 4h19 talking about suicice...
Actually if you all give a good look train is the best option for someone who decided to take his/her life...of course first you need guts to jump in fron of a train but I think is the quickest way to die and maybe the last painfull one! Make lots of mess but hey you are dead and You dont care anymore! Do I sound to raw? Well thats because I'm! To kill yourself is not the solution, maybe there is other solutions bla bla bla bla....maybe is the only solution and maybe there is no other way. Can you imagine how desperate someone is to kill himself? Or even to try to do it?
Anyway...I really can understand why.
Actually if you all give a good look train is the best option for someone who decided to take his/her life...of course first you need guts to jump in fron of a train but I think is the quickest way to die and maybe the last painfull one! Make lots of mess but hey you are dead and You dont care anymore! Do I sound to raw? Well thats because I'm! To kill yourself is not the solution, maybe there is other solutions bla bla bla bla....maybe is the only solution and maybe there is no other way. Can you imagine how desperate someone is to kill himself? Or even to try to do it?
Anyway...I really can understand why.
People who try to commit suicide in front of a train don't always die, it's not a guarantee... as an ex-train driver myself I can say THAT with experience, or more to the point, experience of my ex-work colleagues who did have incidents (they weren't always suicides) as thankfully, no one ever tried to do that in front of me while driving my train, only animals which was bad enough. But, you can be sure that you'll end up with limbs missing, or other bits and bobs if you're just lucky to fall into the middle of the tracks seconds before the train comes.
I've heard some terrible stories though, I could write a small book on them... like the young lad who had been out on a Saturday night drinking with his friends, caught the packed train back home late in the early hours, was looking out of the window on the old slam door stock just before entering Kensal Green tunnel, his last mistake. The headless body fell back into the train with bloody going everywhere and people screaming all over the place.
Another young lad acting the idiot at Milton Keynes station after a night of drinking, fell backwards onto the track as a train was slowing down to stop at the station. Lucky for him he survived, he only lost both his legs...
I've heard some terrible stories though, I could write a small book on them... like the young lad who had been out on a Saturday night drinking with his friends, caught the packed train back home late in the early hours, was looking out of the window on the old slam door stock just before entering Kensal Green tunnel, his last mistake. The headless body fell back into the train with bloody going everywhere and people screaming all over the place.
Another young lad acting the idiot at Milton Keynes station after a night of drinking, fell backwards onto the track as a train was slowing down to stop at the station. Lucky for him he survived, he only lost both his legs...
QUOTE (miss_blue @ Jul 5 2009, 04:24 AM)
And I'm at 4h19 talking about suicice...
Actually if you all give a good look train is the best option for someone who decided to take his/her life...of course first you need guts to jump in fron of a train but I think is the quickest way to die and maybe the last painfull one! Make lots of mess but hey you are dead and You dont care anymore! Do I sound to raw? Well thats because I'm! To kill yourself is not the solution, maybe there is other solutions bla bla bla bla....maybe is the only solution and maybe there is no other way. Can you imagine how desperate someone is to kill himself? Or even to try to do it?
Anyway...I really can understand why.
Actually if you all give a good look train is the best option for someone who decided to take his/her life...of course first you need guts to jump in fron of a train but I think is the quickest way to die and maybe the last painfull one! Make lots of mess but hey you are dead and You dont care anymore! Do I sound to raw? Well thats because I'm! To kill yourself is not the solution, maybe there is other solutions bla bla bla bla....maybe is the only solution and maybe there is no other way. Can you imagine how desperate someone is to kill himself? Or even to try to do it?
Anyway...I really can understand why.
I think a drug overdose would be tidier,easier and more pleasant.
QUOTE (mr.fook @ Jul 6 2009, 12:23 PM)
I think a drug overdose would be tidier,easier and more pleasant.
Perhaps a messy corpse is part of the plan...a little revenge for those left behind?
QUOTE (mr.fook @ Jul 6 2009, 11:23 AM)
I think a drug overdose would be tidier,easier and more pleasant.
Hummm I'm not a fan of needles...not that I'm a fan of jump in front of a train as well or that I have any idea of doing that....but needles naaaaaaaaaaa
QUOTE (miss_blue @ Jul 6 2009, 12:37 PM)
Hummm I'm not a fan of needles...not that I'm a fan of jump in front of a train as well or that I have any idea of doing that....but needles naaaaaaaaaaa
Needles aren't necessary...a half bottle of whisky and sleeping pills will do it....although if one wants to do a thorough,tidy job, its advisable to drink the liquor quite slowly so that the alcohol gets into your bloodstream,then take the tablets also slowly at first,otherwise if you try and do it too quickly there is a chance of you throwing it all up(even when you fall into a coma)...and then there isn't enough of the suicide cocktail to actually kill you and you just wake up feeling drowsy...along with the mother of all hangovers....or brain damage.
There was a Hollywood starlet from the 1920's or 30's I think who'd planned a beautiful suicide and laid down in her bed with a bellyful of pills,surrounded by roses...she thought she'd be found like that but sadly she regained conciousness and was found dead weeks later with her head in the toilet and half eaten by her cats.
Alas,a beautiful romantic suicide did not happen for her.
Another easy way out, of course, is jumping from a high building!
In many cases gaining access to the roof of an apartment complex is rather easy, even for non-residents.
The result is fast, absolutely certain and most of the time not too messy for the onlookers...
In many cases gaining access to the roof of an apartment complex is rather easy, even for non-residents.
The result is fast, absolutely certain and most of the time not too messy for the onlookers...
How about an orgasm/asphyxiation death, (or better known as auto-erotic asphyxiation), like David Carradine... you go out with ecstasy, so to speak.
Apparently, he didn't commit suicide...
David Carradine 'did not commit suicide' says pathologist, fuelling speculation actor died during sex game
Apparently, he didn't commit suicide...
David Carradine 'did not commit suicide' says pathologist, fuelling speculation actor died during sex game
QUOTE (emilio416 @ Jul 6 2009, 01:21 PM)
Another easy way out, of course, is jumping from a high building!
In many cases gaining access to the roof of an apartment complex is rather easy, even for non-residents.
The result is fast, absolutely certain and most of the time not too messy for the onlookers...
In many cases gaining access to the roof of an apartment complex is rather easy, even for non-residents.
The result is fast, absolutely certain and most of the time not too messy for the onlookers...
I think that would be a bit messy... and what if you changed your mind while falling!
QUOTE (Canucky Woman @ Jul 3 2009, 05:06 PM)
The popular section on the Haarlem-Amsterdam route is right on the bridge going through Halfweg that runs over the roadway, right near the intersection of the A9 and Oranje Nassaustraat leading into Zwanenburg...We had to drive that way to get home and there were always cops and ambulances there because of a suicide...A couple of years ago they finally had to build a fence blocking the tracks to make it more difficult to access...
There are or were a number of institutions in that area, that may have played a role.
QUOTE (mr.fook @ Jul 6 2009, 12:51 PM)
Needles aren't necessary...a half bottle of whisky and sleeping pills will do it....although if one wants to do a thorough,tidy job, its advisable to drink the liquor quite slowly so that the alcohol gets into your bloodstream,then take the tablets also slowly at first,otherwise if you try and do it too quickly there is a chance of you throwing it all up(even when you fall into a coma)...and then there isn't enough of the suicide cocktail to actually kill you and you just wake up feeling drowsy...along with the mother of all hangovers....or brain damage.
There was a Hollywood starlet from the 1920's or 30's I think who'd planned a beautiful suicide and laid down in her bed with a bellyful of pills,surrounded by roses...she thought she'd be found like that but sadly she regained conciousness and was found dead weeks later with her head in the toilet and half eaten by her cats.
Alas,a beautiful romantic suicide did not happen for her.
There was a Hollywood starlet from the 1920's or 30's I think who'd planned a beautiful suicide and laid down in her bed with a bellyful of pills,surrounded by roses...she thought she'd be found like that but sadly she regained conciousness and was found dead weeks later with her head in the toilet and half eaten by her cats.
Alas,a beautiful romantic suicide did not happen for her.
Thanks for the tips...anyway i have no idea to go for it!
Doesnt matter how bad i can feel or bad is my life! And i have the most important thing in ly life that keeps me go on...My beautiful child
QUOTE (miss_blue @ Jul 6 2009, 05:25 PM)
Thanks for the tips...anyway i have no idea to go for it!
Doesnt matter how bad i can feel or bad is my life! And i have the most important thing in ly life that keeps me go on...My beautiful child :)
Doesnt matter how bad i can feel or bad is my life! And i have the most important thing in ly life that keeps me go on...My beautiful child :)
I didn't think you would 'go for it'.
Good for you miss blue.
QUOTE (cloggieking @ Jul 6 2009, 03:14 PM)
There are or were a number of institutions in that area, that may have played a role.
What institutions? There's a lot of farmlands, industries and campings spots, but that's about it...
QUOTE (Canucky Woman @ Jul 7 2009, 08:12 AM)
What institutions? There's a lot of farmlands, industries and campings spots, but that's about it...
De Waag or Santpoort were or are among them in the Haarlem area, my ol lady was afraid to play out in the woods as a kid because feared running in to a crazy person
edit: info added
QUOTE (cloggieking @ Jul 7 2009, 07:00 PM)
De Waag or Santpoort were or are among them in the Haarlem area, my ol lady was afraid to play out in the woods as a kid because feared running in to a crazy person
edit: info added
edit: info added
I'm talking Halfweg. That's nowhere near Santpoort.
According to various statistics on the web, The Netherlands has a fairly suicide rate compared to many countries. Even on this site I found this : http://www.expatica.com/nl/news/dutch-news...ands_46344.html
QUOTE (rylandd @ Jul 9 2009, 09:49 AM)
According to various statistics on the web, The Netherlands has a fairly suicide rate compared to many countries. Even on this site I found this : http://www.expatica.com/nl/news/dutch-news...ands_46344.html
So, around 4 people everyday kill themselves! That seems quite a lot to me, for a small country...
QUOTE (rylandd @ Jul 9 2009, 09:49 AM)
According to various statistics on the web, The Netherlands has a fairly suicide rate compared to many countries. Even on this site I found this : http://www.expatica.com/nl/news/dutch-news...ands_46344.html
I just had a look on that source of all knowledge, Wikipedia. NL seems pretty average - more than Spain or the UK but less than Australia, New Zealand, Canada, US and a few others. Main striking thing was that NL has a relatively high rate of female suicides compared to male ones.
Holland scores 39'th in the male suicide department...
http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/hea_sui_...cide-rate-males
http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/hea_sui_...cide-rate-males
Nothing can be as bad as Beechy Head in UK.
average over 2 per week. Often when retrieving one, they find another (or more).
People drive hundreds of miles to do it. Eastbourne is where the phrase "taking the last bus" came from (after some website about how to do it).
Awful last week or so, a couple's kid dies of meningitis, they took his body in a rucksack and all went on the last bus ......
They often find piles of neat folded clothes up there. Nice cars left in the pub carpark. The staff have training to spot people having 'the last supper' - apparently most eat very well b4 and give a nice big tip and a big smile.
average over 2 per week. Often when retrieving one, they find another (or more).
People drive hundreds of miles to do it. Eastbourne is where the phrase "taking the last bus" came from (after some website about how to do it).
Awful last week or so, a couple's kid dies of meningitis, they took his body in a rucksack and all went on the last bus ......
They often find piles of neat folded clothes up there. Nice cars left in the pub carpark. The staff have training to spot people having 'the last supper' - apparently most eat very well b4 and give a nice big tip and a big smile.
Anyway, I never understood it, committing suiside.
Even if I dared to have a thought about it when i was young and stupid, my mother's feeling about it crossed my mind. They suffer so much to give us a life and we are just killing ourselves just because something didnt work out. We are responsible for all steps we are doing from the very beginning. IMHO
You will be surprised, what I found in russian dictionary
???????????? ???. ????? | g-sort
???. suicide; felo-de-se; self-annihilation; self-destruction; overkill
????.???. self-violence; suicidal death
??. solitaire; the Dutch act
Even if I dared to have a thought about it when i was young and stupid, my mother's feeling about it crossed my mind. They suffer so much to give us a life and we are just killing ourselves just because something didnt work out. We are responsible for all steps we are doing from the very beginning. IMHO
You will be surprised, what I found in russian dictionary
???????????? ???. ????? | g-sort
???. suicide; felo-de-se; self-annihilation; self-destruction; overkill
????.???. self-violence; suicidal death
??. solitaire; the Dutch act
QUOTE (drunk @ Jul 10 2009, 02:36 PM)
Nothing can be as bad as Beechy Head in UK.
average over 2 per week. Often when retrieving one, they find another (or more).
People drive hundreds of miles to do it. Eastbourne is where the phrase "taking the last bus" came from (after some website about how to do it).
Awful last week or so, a couple's kid dies of meningitis, they took his body in a rucksack and all went on the last bus ......
They often find piles of neat folded clothes up there. Nice cars left in the pub carpark. The staff have training to spot people having 'the last supper' - apparently most eat very well b4 and give a nice big tip and a big smile.
average over 2 per week. Often when retrieving one, they find another (or more).
People drive hundreds of miles to do it. Eastbourne is where the phrase "taking the last bus" came from (after some website about how to do it).
Awful last week or so, a couple's kid dies of meningitis, they took his body in a rucksack and all went on the last bus ......
They often find piles of neat folded clothes up there. Nice cars left in the pub carpark. The staff have training to spot people having 'the last supper' - apparently most eat very well b4 and give a nice big tip and a big smile.
I heard about this - see: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseacti...videoid=9744603
((((((((((((
QUOTE (emilio416 @ Jul 3 2009, 09:04 AM)
...extremely simplistic thinking...please read a book about suicide!
Actually, it is realistic thinking. As Prof. David W. Martin says in his TTC Introduction to Psychology, suicides are copied by other people. When a big star commits suicide, this tells ordinary people that if he/she did it, it is ok to do it. After one big star commits suicides, the effects of such suicide are visible for months, not only in ordinary suicides but also in automobile and plane crashes.
The Dutch media psychologists are persuaded by Tarde's imitation theory, and therefore suicides are unlikely to be reported by the Dutch media, unless they are imitating the behavior of international media.
QUOTE (Solechka @ Aug 16 2009, 12:22 PM)
Anyway, I never understood it, committing suiside.
Well, suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem, this is what a counsellor against suicide used to say. I heard it from his wife, who testified before the FDA that he committed suicide a couple of weeks after he began using Prozac. The video was shown on Zomergasten.
This is a very serious subject my friends. I simply do not believe that any sane person would even consider committing suicide just because they find The Netherlands a depressing country, because it simply is not.
Consider the facts, the people here are very friendly and polite [yes that's right polite!], the public transport is second to none [even with the occasional delays on the trains caused by a very small minority of crazy people throwing themselves in front of them from time-to-time] and the weather is much nicer than people might lead you to believe.
There was simply a blip in the number of these crazy people in the week or two that this post was started. Nothing more than that.
That is all I wanted to say on this subject my friends
Les
Consider the facts, the people here are very friendly and polite [yes that's right polite!], the public transport is second to none [even with the occasional delays on the trains caused by a very small minority of crazy people throwing themselves in front of them from time-to-time] and the weather is much nicer than people might lead you to believe.
There was simply a blip in the number of these crazy people in the week or two that this post was started. Nothing more than that.
That is all I wanted to say on this subject my friends
Les
[font="Book Antiqua"][/font][size="3"][/size][color="#9932CC"][/color]Hmmm.....I was just trying to find a place to talk about how things are going for me since I got here. I have been here about two months now and am having a real struggle. I bought Rosetta Stone but have not started using it as I still have some leftover freelance work I need to finish first, which should take another month or so.
In the meantime, I just got back from the Albert Hei...Hij...He...the grocery store. After spending half an hour trying to figure out which pickles would taste best on a hamburger ( i think it's hamburger), being treated rudely in the check-out line, AND getting snapped at by the tram driver, I'm having somewhat of a metldown -- just when I was starting to think "These people aren't as rude as I first thought."
The truth is I've already figured out "the last bus" idea by using the train. I'm feeling very depressed. I'm not suicidal -- just looking for some friendly feedback.
Like many people I've read posts from, I moved here to be with my Dutch husband. We met online about three years ago, visited each other's homes several times, and were married in Seattle last September. He is a great guy. I love him. I'm committed to making the best of our lives here. But it turns out much of the information we relied on (from him) when making our decision to settle here instead of Seattle, was false. I'm not saying he lied to me. I just think he himself was misinformed.
He lived with his mom here in this apartment his entire life. He was actually born inside the apartment. She basically took care of everything for him. I think it was kind of a blessing in disguise that she died almost a year before I moved here. He didn't know how to pay the bills or even how to work the washing machine, so her passing forced him to learn how to TCB around here.
The thing that has me the most depressed today -- besides groceries ( ceasar salad dressing is not supposed to taste like miracle whip! ) -- is our apartment. When we were deciding where to move, I insisted we find an apartment that did not require climbing up 80 stairs to get home. Besides the stairs, there is the condition of the apartment. Two HEAVY smokers lived here for 40 years and I don't think the place has been thoroughly cleaned in at least 20. EVERYTHING has kind of a sticky yellow stain on it. If I'm able to get sticky part off, whatever is left is still stained yellow. This place has never been updated. The water pressure is terrible. No screens with mosquitos aplenty. Neither one of us knows how to work the oven. We lived without a fridge until a couple weeks ago. Yesterday, within 12 hours of each other, the TV died and so did the washing machine.
Before I moved here, he assured me that moving would be no problem. Turns out it's a HUGE problem!! In fact, after talking to the woningnet people, it looks like we are stuck here for "Five to 12 years." So okay. We will have to make due. Hubby told me that we could have the owners of the building renovate/update the apartment, that they would move us to a temporary place while they did so, and charge us higher rent when they moved us back in. Well, the inspector came over on Monday and basically laughed at that. We may get new floors and kitchen cabinets, though.
I know I sound like a totally spoiled brat. And I guess I am. I knew my lifestyle would be quite different from what I was used to. Hubby makes a modest income and I was making right at six-figures. I was working my ass off 60-80 hours a week for it, though. I am grateful for the slower pace here. It's just that I was not counting on having to stay in this apartment. I have done sooooooo much work on it, but still....
I don't yet have a job. It's likely I will have a 3-month contract job soon. IDK - maybe I'm just bored. And I don't want to whine to my friends and family who all think I'm off living this glamorous, romantic, euro-charmed life (well, it IS kinda romantic). My sister is justy DYING to tell me "I told you so." So I'm whining to you here instead.
If you've gotten this far, thank you sooooooooo much for. I don't post that often because I tend to go on, and on, and on and..... Another reason I don't post is because I have not quite figured out how this site works. I get alerts that someone posted something to a thread I'm watching, so I click on the link and it takes me to a post I have no clue about. I'm not sure how the site knows I'm even watching a thread -- probably something I clicked on when I joined up. Or if I do a key word search and I get a hit in a forum, I click on it and get a message that I'm not allowed to be in that forum. I see people talk about IM'g each other. Is that through this site or are you personal friends on MSN or Yahoo, or something like that? And how do you keep up with what's new? Do you read every forum topic every day?
Anyway, I'm fully expecting to get comments back from people telling me to quit my bitching and get my head out of my ass. Grow up. You knew what you were getting into. If you don't like it, go back where you came from, etc, etc, etc. That's fine. What I'm hoping for is at least a couple sympathetic ears.
Thanks for listening,
April
In the meantime, I just got back from the Albert Hei...Hij...He...the grocery store. After spending half an hour trying to figure out which pickles would taste best on a hamburger ( i think it's hamburger), being treated rudely in the check-out line, AND getting snapped at by the tram driver, I'm having somewhat of a metldown -- just when I was starting to think "These people aren't as rude as I first thought."
The truth is I've already figured out "the last bus" idea by using the train. I'm feeling very depressed. I'm not suicidal -- just looking for some friendly feedback.
Like many people I've read posts from, I moved here to be with my Dutch husband. We met online about three years ago, visited each other's homes several times, and were married in Seattle last September. He is a great guy. I love him. I'm committed to making the best of our lives here. But it turns out much of the information we relied on (from him) when making our decision to settle here instead of Seattle, was false. I'm not saying he lied to me. I just think he himself was misinformed.
He lived with his mom here in this apartment his entire life. He was actually born inside the apartment. She basically took care of everything for him. I think it was kind of a blessing in disguise that she died almost a year before I moved here. He didn't know how to pay the bills or even how to work the washing machine, so her passing forced him to learn how to TCB around here.
The thing that has me the most depressed today -- besides groceries ( ceasar salad dressing is not supposed to taste like miracle whip! ) -- is our apartment. When we were deciding where to move, I insisted we find an apartment that did not require climbing up 80 stairs to get home. Besides the stairs, there is the condition of the apartment. Two HEAVY smokers lived here for 40 years and I don't think the place has been thoroughly cleaned in at least 20. EVERYTHING has kind of a sticky yellow stain on it. If I'm able to get sticky part off, whatever is left is still stained yellow. This place has never been updated. The water pressure is terrible. No screens with mosquitos aplenty. Neither one of us knows how to work the oven. We lived without a fridge until a couple weeks ago. Yesterday, within 12 hours of each other, the TV died and so did the washing machine.
Before I moved here, he assured me that moving would be no problem. Turns out it's a HUGE problem!! In fact, after talking to the woningnet people, it looks like we are stuck here for "Five to 12 years." So okay. We will have to make due. Hubby told me that we could have the owners of the building renovate/update the apartment, that they would move us to a temporary place while they did so, and charge us higher rent when they moved us back in. Well, the inspector came over on Monday and basically laughed at that. We may get new floors and kitchen cabinets, though.
I know I sound like a totally spoiled brat. And I guess I am. I knew my lifestyle would be quite different from what I was used to. Hubby makes a modest income and I was making right at six-figures. I was working my ass off 60-80 hours a week for it, though. I am grateful for the slower pace here. It's just that I was not counting on having to stay in this apartment. I have done sooooooo much work on it, but still....
I don't yet have a job. It's likely I will have a 3-month contract job soon. IDK - maybe I'm just bored. And I don't want to whine to my friends and family who all think I'm off living this glamorous, romantic, euro-charmed life (well, it IS kinda romantic). My sister is justy DYING to tell me "I told you so." So I'm whining to you here instead.
If you've gotten this far, thank you sooooooooo much for. I don't post that often because I tend to go on, and on, and on and..... Another reason I don't post is because I have not quite figured out how this site works. I get alerts that someone posted something to a thread I'm watching, so I click on the link and it takes me to a post I have no clue about. I'm not sure how the site knows I'm even watching a thread -- probably something I clicked on when I joined up. Or if I do a key word search and I get a hit in a forum, I click on it and get a message that I'm not allowed to be in that forum. I see people talk about IM'g each other. Is that through this site or are you personal friends on MSN or Yahoo, or something like that? And how do you keep up with what's new? Do you read every forum topic every day?
Anyway, I'm fully expecting to get comments back from people telling me to quit my bitching and get my head out of my ass. Grow up. You knew what you were getting into. If you don't like it, go back where you came from, etc, etc, etc. That's fine. What I'm hoping for is at least a couple sympathetic ears.
Thanks for listening,
April
April...first of all, what you are going through is normal and expected:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock
Secondly, if you are thatclose to a three-month contract, it's a very good things for two reasons -- one, obviously after only two months, you have a residence permit (I wasn't approved for one for nine months and still had to wait a couple more months for the actual card!)...and you have beaten the odds in this recession because things are pretty tough here for those who don't know Dutch.
Two things to be thankful for, I guess.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock
Secondly, if you are thatclose to a three-month contract, it's a very good things for two reasons -- one, obviously after only two months, you have a residence permit (I wasn't approved for one for nine months and still had to wait a couple more months for the actual card!)...and you have beaten the odds in this recession because things are pretty tough here for those who don't know Dutch.
Two things to be thankful for, I guess.
QUOTE (Canucky Woman @ Aug 21 2009, 02:52 AM)
April...first of all, what you are going through is normal and expected:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock
Secondly, if you are thatclose to a three-month contract, it's a very good things for two reasons -- one, obviously after only two months, you have a residence permit (I wasn't approved for one for nine months and still had to wait a couple more months for the actual card!)...and you have beaten the odds in this recession because things are pretty tough here for those who don't know Dutch.
Two things to be thankful for, I guess.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock
Secondly, if you are thatclose to a three-month contract, it's a very good things for two reasons -- one, obviously after only two months, you have a residence permit (I wasn't approved for one for nine months and still had to wait a couple more months for the actual card!)...and you have beaten the odds in this recession because things are pretty tough here for those who don't know Dutch.
Two things to be thankful for, I guess.
Get someone in to paint the place and put up screens. Some friends of mine had their whole apartment painted during Christmas - on the actual holiday! I think the workers were Polish and they did nice work pretty reasonably. Go to a hotel to stay for two days while they do this. You will feel so much better once everything looks clean.
Thank You, Canucky and Kristen,
I know that was a LOOOOONG posting to slog through and I appreciate your kind words.
I'm feeling much better today. Maybe it was the weather cooling down -- I LOVE THE FALL-LIKE DAYS!! Or maybe it was the 2 snickers ice cream bars. Anyway, life goes on....
As far as the residency permit, I either don't need one for the position I am up for, or they take care of it for me. It is an international quasi-UN position, so I think they have different rules. Talk about sloooow. The posting for this position closed in December of last year, I interviewed for it in January, and it still is not filled. Oh, well....time off is good, too. I'm sure I will look back on these unemployed days fondly at some point. LOL
The painting idea is a good one. I could do the painting myself, but there's lots of prep work that needs to be done first; i.e. scraping off the gunk of 40 years of smoking, filling in holes in the wall, sanding down rough spots. I have heard about a so-called sealing paint that lets you paint right over the worst gunk and you only need one coat. Have you heard of that?
Again, thanks for your kind words.
April
I know that was a LOOOOONG posting to slog through and I appreciate your kind words.
I'm feeling much better today. Maybe it was the weather cooling down -- I LOVE THE FALL-LIKE DAYS!! Or maybe it was the 2 snickers ice cream bars. Anyway, life goes on....
As far as the residency permit, I either don't need one for the position I am up for, or they take care of it for me. It is an international quasi-UN position, so I think they have different rules. Talk about sloooow. The posting for this position closed in December of last year, I interviewed for it in January, and it still is not filled. Oh, well....time off is good, too. I'm sure I will look back on these unemployed days fondly at some point. LOL
The painting idea is a good one. I could do the painting myself, but there's lots of prep work that needs to be done first; i.e. scraping off the gunk of 40 years of smoking, filling in holes in the wall, sanding down rough spots. I have heard about a so-called sealing paint that lets you paint right over the worst gunk and you only need one coat. Have you heard of that?
Again, thanks for your kind words.
April
QUOTE (aprilinamsterdam @ Aug 23 2009, 12:45 PM)
Thank You, Canucky and Kristen,
I know that was a LOOOOONG posting to slog through and I appreciate your kind words.
I'm feeling much better today. Maybe it was the weather cooling down -- I LOVE THE FALL-LIKE DAYS!! Or maybe it was the 2 snickers ice cream bars. Anyway, life goes on....
As far as the residency permit, I either don't need one for the position I am up for, or they take care of it for me. It is an international quasi-UN position, so I think they have different rules. Talk about sloooow. The posting for this position closed in December of last year, I interviewed for it in January, and it still is not filled. Oh, well....time off is good, too. I'm sure I will look back on these unemployed days fondly at some point. LOL
The painting idea is a good one. I could do the painting myself, but there's lots of prep work that needs to be done first; i.e. scraping off the gunk of 40 years of smoking, filling in holes in the wall, sanding down rough spots. I have heard about a so-called sealing paint that lets you paint right over the worst gunk and you only need one coat. Have you heard of that?
Again, thanks for your kind words.
April
I know that was a LOOOOONG posting to slog through and I appreciate your kind words.
I'm feeling much better today. Maybe it was the weather cooling down -- I LOVE THE FALL-LIKE DAYS!! Or maybe it was the 2 snickers ice cream bars. Anyway, life goes on....
As far as the residency permit, I either don't need one for the position I am up for, or they take care of it for me. It is an international quasi-UN position, so I think they have different rules. Talk about sloooow. The posting for this position closed in December of last year, I interviewed for it in January, and it still is not filled. Oh, well....time off is good, too. I'm sure I will look back on these unemployed days fondly at some point. LOL
The painting idea is a good one. I could do the painting myself, but there's lots of prep work that needs to be done first; i.e. scraping off the gunk of 40 years of smoking, filling in holes in the wall, sanding down rough spots. I have heard about a so-called sealing paint that lets you paint right over the worst gunk and you only need one coat. Have you heard of that?
Again, thanks for your kind words.
April
You can get the "sealing paint" at almost all the important DIY stores, like Gamma, Praxis, Karwei etc. It is expensive but certainly worthwile for the ugliest parts.
QUOTE (aprilinamsterdam @ Aug 23 2009, 12:45 PM)
Thank You, Canucky and Kristen,
I know that was a LOOOOONG posting to slog through and I appreciate your kind words.
I'm feeling much better today. Maybe it was the weather cooling down -- I LOVE THE FALL-LIKE DAYS!! Or maybe it was the 2 snickers ice cream bars. Anyway, life goes on....
As far as the residency permit, I either don't need one for the position I am up for, or they take care of it for me. It is an international quasi-UN position, so I think they have different rules. Talk about sloooow. The posting for this position closed in December of last year, I interviewed for it in January, and it still is not filled. Oh, well....time off is good, too. I'm sure I will look back on these unemployed days fondly at some point. LOL
The painting idea is a good one. I could do the painting myself, but there's lots of prep work that needs to be done first; i.e. scraping off the gunk of 40 years of smoking, filling in holes in the wall, sanding down rough spots. I have heard about a so-called sealing paint that lets you paint right over the worst gunk and you only need one coat. Have you heard of that?
Again, thanks for your kind words.
April
I know that was a LOOOOONG posting to slog through and I appreciate your kind words.
I'm feeling much better today. Maybe it was the weather cooling down -- I LOVE THE FALL-LIKE DAYS!! Or maybe it was the 2 snickers ice cream bars. Anyway, life goes on....
As far as the residency permit, I either don't need one for the position I am up for, or they take care of it for me. It is an international quasi-UN position, so I think they have different rules. Talk about sloooow. The posting for this position closed in December of last year, I interviewed for it in January, and it still is not filled. Oh, well....time off is good, too. I'm sure I will look back on these unemployed days fondly at some point. LOL
The painting idea is a good one. I could do the painting myself, but there's lots of prep work that needs to be done first; i.e. scraping off the gunk of 40 years of smoking, filling in holes in the wall, sanding down rough spots. I have heard about a so-called sealing paint that lets you paint right over the worst gunk and you only need one coat. Have you heard of that?
Again, thanks for your kind words.
April
Not meaning to be harsh .. I'm just giving my opinion.
If your man has lived in that SAME apartment ... all his life and is just now learning how the wash clothes and figure out what going on in his surroundings (like getting housing) etc ... I find this extremely odd for a grown man .... to say the least.
He seems strangely ... maladjusted'if I'm telling the truth here.
Secondly .. this is not a slave state. You don't have to stay in that (what sounds like) an absolute dump of an apartmentr for the next 5 - 12 years! WHAT?????
You can rent a place that is NOT part of the Woning corporation anytime you want!
Check out www.funda.nl. Yes, it's in Dutch but you can cut and paste words into an online translator and figure it out. Spend some TIME and do some research. Move to a smaller town that will get you something nicer for your money.
Yes, the prices are higher than the Woning corp but it's doable - just choose something modest and check out the kind of people that live in the building, the area, etc.
(I think it's interesting that you would pick a thred about SUICIDES in which to express your discontent... but then you say you are not suicidal.)
Anyway, get out of that dump! Geesh, I'm itching all over from just reading your text!
Well, as prompted before, culture shock is a huge source of depression. It happens to almost all immigrants.
Don't hesitate to tell your house-MD that you are depressed. Getting professional help is not a shame: almost every Dutchie had to do with a shrink, the most common problem being burnouts.
As someone else said, the fact that you have reacted with such message in a suicide topic shows that your unconscious produced kind of Freudian slip. According to Jung, commenting upon a certain case, your unconscious tries to prepare you for what is coming.
If you get a SSRI prescription, consider taking this medicine for a month under strict medical supervision (24/7).
Hope that this is just the worst case scenario, as I was told I often build my messages around worst case scenarios.
Don't hesitate to tell your house-MD that you are depressed. Getting professional help is not a shame: almost every Dutchie had to do with a shrink, the most common problem being burnouts.
As someone else said, the fact that you have reacted with such message in a suicide topic shows that your unconscious produced kind of Freudian slip. According to Jung, commenting upon a certain case, your unconscious tries to prepare you for what is coming.
If you get a SSRI prescription, consider taking this medicine for a month under strict medical supervision (24/7).
Hope that this is just the worst case scenario, as I was told I often build my messages around worst case scenarios.
I've had it a few times as well (train delays I mean, not the need to kill myself). Might sound heartless but I think it is a selfish way to kill yourself. Before anyone gets angry at me I don't mean because I have to wait an extra half an hour to get home but just think of the poor train driver who has to live with the image having seen someone jump in front of his train.
just heard it on the radio a few days ago. apparently to jump in front of a coming train is the most popular way to die. fvcking idiots! according to stats it's much higher here than in neighbouring countries because the tracks are not well protected.
the same day i heard this news item i went biking with dutchie to a pub 1.5hrs away in a nearby village. along the way i did see some sections of the tracks that have either no fence or it's only knee high. no wonder it's so easy. also saw a couple of roadside grave stones precisely at these unprotected spots.
i used to know of a dutchie woman who committed suicide in 2006. she didn't make a mess though.
the same day i heard this news item i went biking with dutchie to a pub 1.5hrs away in a nearby village. along the way i did see some sections of the tracks that have either no fence or it's only knee high. no wonder it's so easy. also saw a couple of roadside grave stones precisely at these unprotected spots.
i used to know of a dutchie woman who committed suicide in 2006. she didn't make a mess though.
QUOTE (ouloveit1 @ Aug 23 2009, 08:25 PM)
Not meaning to be harsh .. I'm just giving my opinion.
I've really tried to let this go, but your post is still bothering me, so here goes:
If your man has lived in that SAME apartment ... all his life and is just now learning how the wash clothes and figure out what going on in his surroundings (like getting housing) etc ... I find this extremely odd for a grown man .... to say the least.
By whose standards? Yours?
He seems strangely ... maladjusted'if I'm telling the truth here.
WHO THE F**K ARE YOU TO CALL MY HUSBAND MALADJUSTED? And so what if he is??? Not everybody is as well adjusted as you apparently are. Maybe that's part of what attracted me to him. I'm obviously maladjusted myself to look for some support and sympathy on an internet message board that would allow you to be a member!
What did you expect me to do with that comment, anyway? "Oh, some b**ch on the internet says my husband is maladjusted. I guess I should divorce him and move back to Seattle." How very helpful of you!
Why the hell WOULD he know know things about finding housing if he has NEVER moved in his entire life? Why would he know how to work the washing machine or pay the bills when his mom has always done it for him? I'm not saying that is the best way to bring up your son, but that's just the way it is with him.
If you read my post, I was having a serious meltdown that day, and I decided to vent my frustration here in the soapbox subforum -- for ranting and raving. I also said I fully expected to get a few jabs about being a spoiled brat American, which I probably am, but your comments about my huband were just plain mean, ugly and not a bit helpful.
Secondly .. this is not a slave state. You don't have to stay in that (what sounds like) an absolute dump of an apartmentr for the next 5 - 12 years! WHAT?????
You can rent a place that is NOT part of the Woning corporation anytime you want!
Check out www.funda.nl. Yes, it's in Dutch but you can cut and paste words into an online translator and figure it out. Spend some TIME and do some research. Move to a smaller town that will get you something nicer for your money.
Yes, the prices are higher than the Woning corp but it's doable - just choose something modest and check out the kind of people that live in the building, the area, etc.
You then went on to provide some useful information. What is that? Schizophrenia or passive-aggressive? You tell me -- you're the doctor.
(I think it's interesting that you would pick a thred about SUICIDES in which to express your discontent... but then you say you are not suicidal.)
Figure that out for yourself, Einstein?
Anyway, get out of that dump! Geesh, I'm itching all over from just reading your text!
I've really tried to let this go, but your post is still bothering me, so here goes:
If your man has lived in that SAME apartment ... all his life and is just now learning how the wash clothes and figure out what going on in his surroundings (like getting housing) etc ... I find this extremely odd for a grown man .... to say the least.
By whose standards? Yours?
He seems strangely ... maladjusted'if I'm telling the truth here.
WHO THE F**K ARE YOU TO CALL MY HUSBAND MALADJUSTED? And so what if he is??? Not everybody is as well adjusted as you apparently are. Maybe that's part of what attracted me to him. I'm obviously maladjusted myself to look for some support and sympathy on an internet message board that would allow you to be a member!
What did you expect me to do with that comment, anyway? "Oh, some b**ch on the internet says my husband is maladjusted. I guess I should divorce him and move back to Seattle." How very helpful of you!
Why the hell WOULD he know know things about finding housing if he has NEVER moved in his entire life? Why would he know how to work the washing machine or pay the bills when his mom has always done it for him? I'm not saying that is the best way to bring up your son, but that's just the way it is with him.
If you read my post, I was having a serious meltdown that day, and I decided to vent my frustration here in the soapbox subforum -- for ranting and raving. I also said I fully expected to get a few jabs about being a spoiled brat American, which I probably am, but your comments about my huband were just plain mean, ugly and not a bit helpful.
Secondly .. this is not a slave state. You don't have to stay in that (what sounds like) an absolute dump of an apartmentr for the next 5 - 12 years! WHAT?????
You can rent a place that is NOT part of the Woning corporation anytime you want!
Check out www.funda.nl. Yes, it's in Dutch but you can cut and paste words into an online translator and figure it out. Spend some TIME and do some research. Move to a smaller town that will get you something nicer for your money.
Yes, the prices are higher than the Woning corp but it's doable - just choose something modest and check out the kind of people that live in the building, the area, etc.
You then went on to provide some useful information. What is that? Schizophrenia or passive-aggressive? You tell me -- you're the doctor.
(I think it's interesting that you would pick a thred about SUICIDES in which to express your discontent... but then you say you are not suicidal.)
Figure that out for yourself, Einstein?
Anyway, get out of that dump! Geesh, I'm itching all over from just reading your text!
Yeah, it's a dump, but I'm probably a lot happier here with my maladjusted husband than you are!
******************************************************************************
I am not 100% clear on the forum rules. I apologize if I've broken any. I also apologize to anyone (other than the intended recipient) if I've offended you. I'm a little (VERY little) ashamed of myself for resorting to profanity and sarcasm. But I felt the situation called for it, with all my human maladjustments.
Thank you to everybody who actually did offer me some sympathy and support. I was seriously depressed and really needed it. And thank you to the others who thought about calling me a spoiled brat or giving me some other form of "tough love," but didn't. I'm feeling much better now. I'm still having assimilation issues and suspect I will for quite some time. But I'm here for the long-haul and looking forward to a happy life here in the swamp!
April
QUOTE (ouloveit1 @ Aug 23 2009, 08:25 PM)
Not meaning to be harsh .. I'm just giving my opinion.
I've really tried to let this go, but your post is still bothering me, so here goes:
If your man has lived in that SAME apartment ... all his life and is just now learning how the wash clothes and figure out what going on in his surroundings (like getting housing) etc ... I find this extremely odd for a grown man .... to say the least.
By whose standards? Yours?
He seems strangely ... maladjusted'if I'm telling the truth here.
WHO THE F**K ARE YOU TO CALL MY HUSBAND MALADJUSTED? And so what if he is??? Not everybody is as well adjusted as you apparently are. Maybe that's part of what attracted me to him. I'm obviously maladjusted myself to look for some support and sympathy on an internet message board that would allow you to be a member!
What did you expect me to do with that comment, anyway? "Oh, some b**ch on the internet says my husband is maladjusted. I guess I should divorce him and move back to Seattle." How very helpful of you!
Why the hell WOULD he know know things about finding housing if he has NEVER moved in his entire life? Why would he know how to work the washing machine or pay the bills when his mom has always done it for him? I'm not saying that is the best way to bring up your son, but that's just the way it is with him.
If you read my post, I was having a serious meltdown that day, and I decided to vent my frustration here in the soapbox subforum -- for ranting and raving. I also said I fully expected to get a few jabs about being a spoiled brat American, which I probably am, but your comments about my huband were just plain mean, ugly and not a bit helpful.
Secondly .. this is not a slave state. You don't have to stay in that (what sounds like) an absolute dump of an apartmentr for the next 5 - 12 years! WHAT?????
You can rent a place that is NOT part of the Woning corporation anytime you want!
Check out www.funda.nl. Yes, it's in Dutch but you can cut and paste words into an online translator and figure it out. Spend some TIME and do some research. Move to a smaller town that will get you something nicer for your money.
Yes, the prices are higher than the Woning corp but it's doable - just choose something modest and check out the kind of people that live in the building, the area, etc.
You then went on to provide some useful information. What is that? Schizophrenia or passive-aggressive? You tell me -- you're the doctor.
(I think it's interesting that you would pick a thred about SUICIDES in which to express your discontent... but then you say you are not suicidal.)
Figure that out for yourself, Einstein?
Anyway, get out of that dump! Geesh, I'm itching all over from just reading your text!
I've really tried to let this go, but your post is still bothering me, so here goes:
If your man has lived in that SAME apartment ... all his life and is just now learning how the wash clothes and figure out what going on in his surroundings (like getting housing) etc ... I find this extremely odd for a grown man .... to say the least.
By whose standards? Yours?
He seems strangely ... maladjusted'if I'm telling the truth here.
WHO THE F**K ARE YOU TO CALL MY HUSBAND MALADJUSTED? And so what if he is??? Not everybody is as well adjusted as you apparently are. Maybe that's part of what attracted me to him. I'm obviously maladjusted myself to look for some support and sympathy on an internet message board that would allow you to be a member!
What did you expect me to do with that comment, anyway? "Oh, some b**ch on the internet says my husband is maladjusted. I guess I should divorce him and move back to Seattle." How very helpful of you!
Why the hell WOULD he know know things about finding housing if he has NEVER moved in his entire life? Why would he know how to work the washing machine or pay the bills when his mom has always done it for him? I'm not saying that is the best way to bring up your son, but that's just the way it is with him.
If you read my post, I was having a serious meltdown that day, and I decided to vent my frustration here in the soapbox subforum -- for ranting and raving. I also said I fully expected to get a few jabs about being a spoiled brat American, which I probably am, but your comments about my huband were just plain mean, ugly and not a bit helpful.
Secondly .. this is not a slave state. You don't have to stay in that (what sounds like) an absolute dump of an apartmentr for the next 5 - 12 years! WHAT?????
You can rent a place that is NOT part of the Woning corporation anytime you want!
Check out www.funda.nl. Yes, it's in Dutch but you can cut and paste words into an online translator and figure it out. Spend some TIME and do some research. Move to a smaller town that will get you something nicer for your money.
Yes, the prices are higher than the Woning corp but it's doable - just choose something modest and check out the kind of people that live in the building, the area, etc.
You then went on to provide some useful information. What is that? Schizophrenia or passive-aggressive? You tell me -- you're the doctor.
(I think it's interesting that you would pick a thred about SUICIDES in which to express your discontent... but then you say you are not suicidal.)
Figure that out for yourself, Einstein?
Anyway, get out of that dump! Geesh, I'm itching all over from just reading your text!
QUOTE (aprilinamsterdam @ Sep 19 2009, 08:28 PM)
Yeah, it's a dump, but I'm probably a lot happier here with my maladjusted husband than you are!
*********************************************************
I am not 100% clear on the forum rules. I apologize if I've broken any. I also apologize to anyone (other than the intended recipient) if I've offended you. I'm a little (VERY little) ashamed of myself for resorting to profanity and sarcasm. But I felt the situation called for it, with all my human maladjustments.
Thank you to everybody who actually did offer me some sympathy and support. I was seriously depressed and really needed it. And thank you to the others who thought about calling me a spoiled brat or giving me some other form of "tough love," but didn't. I'm feeling much better now. I'm still having assimilation issues and suspect I will for quite some time. But I'm here for the long-haul and looking forward to a happy life here in the swamp!
April
*********************************************************
I am not 100% clear on the forum rules. I apologize if I've broken any. I also apologize to anyone (other than the intended recipient) if I've offended you. I'm a little (VERY little) ashamed of myself for resorting to profanity and sarcasm. But I felt the situation called for it, with all my human maladjustments.
Thank you to everybody who actually did offer me some sympathy and support. I was seriously depressed and really needed it. And thank you to the others who thought about calling me a spoiled brat or giving me some other form of "tough love," but didn't. I'm feeling much better now. I'm still having assimilation issues and suspect I will for quite some time. But I'm here for the long-haul and looking forward to a happy life here in the swamp!
April
I hope you don't mind April, but I thought I'd try to be helpful in making it clear what you were saying as I think your post is very valid...
I completely see your point, it's totally unfair to judge people so harshly, especially when one knows absolutely nothing about them or their abilities/inabilities as an adult. Many assume that as adults that we are all capable of doing simple adult things when clearly it isn't the case... whatever the reasons.
Glad to hear that are feeling much better, life gets us all down from time to time and it's good on occasions to let it all out. Unfortunately, not everyone is able to empathise/sympathise, a fault I think mainly due to lack of difficult life experiences. For some, ignorance is bliss I'm afraid...
Your assimilation issues are by no means unique, I have them, even after 6 years!
Ultimately, just carry on being yourself... 
QUOTE (wesley-nl @ Sep 19 2009, 09:41 PM)
I hope you don't mind April, but I thought I'd try to be helpful in making it clear what you were saying as I think your post is very valid...
I completely see your point, it's totally unfair to judge people so harshly, especially when one knows absolutely nothing about them or their abilities/inabilities as an adult. Many assume that as adults that we are all capable of doing simple adult things when clearly it isn't the case... whatever the reasons.
Glad to hear that are feeling much better, life gets us all down from time to time and it's good on occasions to let it all out. Unfortunately, not everyone is able to empathise/sympathise, a fault I think mainly due to lack of difficult life experiences. For some, ignorance is bliss I'm afraid...
Your assimilation issues are by no means unique, I have them, even after 6 years! Ultimately, just carry on being yourself...
I completely see your point, it's totally unfair to judge people so harshly, especially when one knows absolutely nothing about them or their abilities/inabilities as an adult. Many assume that as adults that we are all capable of doing simple adult things when clearly it isn't the case... whatever the reasons.
Glad to hear that are feeling much better, life gets us all down from time to time and it's good on occasions to let it all out. Unfortunately, not everyone is able to empathise/sympathise, a fault I think mainly due to lack of difficult life experiences. For some, ignorance is bliss I'm afraid...
Your assimilation issues are by no means unique, I have them, even after 6 years!
Ultimately, just carry on being yourself... Yes, thank you -- for your edits and your support. Both helpful and appreciated. I can't figure out how to do that quote thing. Then again, I'm a bit maladjusted ;-)
QUOTE (aprilinamsterdam @ Sep 19 2009, 09:44 PM)
Yes, thank you -- for your edits and your support. Both helpful and appreciated. I can't figure out how to do that quote thing. Then again, I'm a bit maladjusted ;-)
You're welcome...
I've just spent the best part of an hour trying to do it myself! For some reason, it wouldn't work the way I originally intended but never mind.I think we're probably all a bit maladjusted in some way or another, no one is perfect.
QUOTE (aprilinamsterdam @ Sep 19 2009, 08:28 PM)
I'm still having assimilation issues and suspect I will for quite some time. But I'm here for the long-haul and looking forward to a happy life here in the swamp!
April
April
Ah, you don't have to apologise or be ashamed of what you wrote. Ouloveit can handle it. She knows what kind of reaction her "tough love" messages tend to get.
Like you, we all have assiimilation issues, including Ouloveit. And like her, you're a lifer.
C'mon now womenz... how about ya'll sing a song?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InjbDaMT8Tc...feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InjbDaMT8Tc...feature=related
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.