Okay not sure where to post this but thought I would start here.
We have a foster son whom I have loved and raised since he was 12 years old he is now 18 attending University. I love him like my own nuff said on that.
My son is black and gay.
My son will be visiting this summer during break. This is the first time he will meet the Dutch family.
The problem or concern is the prejudice here. I do not think he is ready for this being an American but he needs to deal because he plans to do some travel but I want to prepare him. How do I do this without putting prejudgment in his head that the NL is a bunch of racist bigots? Do I just let him encounter it and then talk to him about it? If we talk about it how do I explain the why question? I already get this why with my daughters…they wonder why people hate Moroccans and Turkish people etc. I do my best but to be honest it is hard to explain with out sounding bad towards the Dutch. The age is so impressionable and what I say is like gold to them because I am Mom and must know all the answers. I tell them I do not know everything but still I hope you get my thoughts here. What I say on this subject will leave a big impression at this age.
The other issue, culture clash when it comes to race. My in laws upon hearing of my son’s visit referred to him as the Negro child! I need to explain to my in laws that this may be politically correct here but in the USA, this is a huge insult. How should I go about this with out making them feel defensive? Mind you, my in laws are lovely people a bit narrow on view but well meaning and never have malice. I only have one member and she is weird and hates everyone! Therefore, I don’t bother with her but with pleasantries.
They are definitely typical insular Duchies folks, travel only on holiday and never been to the USA. They are often shocked when I tell them stuff about my country vs. here etc. They often say really silly things about my family and I assuming stuff that just is not true but they think is true. Lucky for me so far, my girls just smile politely but when home say boy are they stupid. I am like ignorance is not stupid okay you will have to teach them in a respectful way. I said this but I really don’t have a clue as to how to teach in a respectful way. I tried a couple times and got the Dutchies defensive and that sucked so now I just smile politely too and then ###### later to my hubby.
So anyone been through this and want to share and or offer some advice. I did not write this post to start some stupid Americans vs. Dutch people thing. I know prejudice is everywhere bla bla bla But I live here and this is my problem here in NL.
QUOTE (Voodoo Doll @ Apr 24 2009, 04:49 PM) 
Okay not sure where to post this but thought I would start here.
We have a foster son whom I have loved and raised since he was 12 years old he is now 18 attending University. I love him like my own nuff said on that.
My son is black and gay.
My son will be visiting this summer during break. This is the first time he will meet the Dutch family.
The problem or concern is the prejudice here. I do not think he is ready for this being an American but he needs to deal because he plans to do some travel but I want to prepare him. How do I do this without putting prejudgment in his head that the NL is a bunch of racist bigots? Do I just let him encounter it and then talk to him about it? If we talk about it how do I explain the why question? I already get this why with my daughters…they wonder why people hate Moroccans and Turkish people etc. I do my best but to be honest it is hard to explain with out sounding bad towards the Dutch. The age is so impressionable and what I say is like gold to them because I am Mom and must know all the answers. I tell them I do not know everything but still I hope you get my thoughts here. What I say on this subject will leave a big impression at this age.
The other issue, culture clash when it comes to race. My in laws upon hearing of my son’s visit referred to him as the Negro child! I need to explain to my in laws that this may be politically correct here but in the USA, this is a huge insult. How should I go about this with out making them feel defensive? Mind you, my in laws are lovely people a bit narrow on view but well meaning and never have malice. I only have one member and she is weird and hates everyone! Therefore, I don’t bother with her but with pleasantries.
They are definitely typical insular Duchies folks, travel only on holiday and never been to the USA. They are often shocked when I tell them stuff about my country vs. here etc. They often say really silly things about my family and I assuming stuff that just is not true but they think is true. Lucky for me so far, my girls just smile politely but when home say boy are they stupid. I am like ignorance is not stupid okay you will have to teach them in a respectful way. I said this but I really don’t have a clue as to how to teach in a respectful way. I tried a couple times and got the Dutchies defensive and that sucked so now I just smile politely too and then ###### later to my hubby.
So anyone been through this and want to share and or offer some advice. I did not write this post to start some stupid Americans vs. Dutch people thing. I know prejudice is everywhere bla bla bla But I live here and this is my problem here in NL.
We have a foster son whom I have loved and raised since he was 12 years old he is now 18 attending University. I love him like my own nuff said on that.
My son is black and gay.
My son will be visiting this summer during break. This is the first time he will meet the Dutch family.
The problem or concern is the prejudice here. I do not think he is ready for this being an American but he needs to deal because he plans to do some travel but I want to prepare him. How do I do this without putting prejudgment in his head that the NL is a bunch of racist bigots? Do I just let him encounter it and then talk to him about it? If we talk about it how do I explain the why question? I already get this why with my daughters…they wonder why people hate Moroccans and Turkish people etc. I do my best but to be honest it is hard to explain with out sounding bad towards the Dutch. The age is so impressionable and what I say is like gold to them because I am Mom and must know all the answers. I tell them I do not know everything but still I hope you get my thoughts here. What I say on this subject will leave a big impression at this age.
The other issue, culture clash when it comes to race. My in laws upon hearing of my son’s visit referred to him as the Negro child! I need to explain to my in laws that this may be politically correct here but in the USA, this is a huge insult. How should I go about this with out making them feel defensive? Mind you, my in laws are lovely people a bit narrow on view but well meaning and never have malice. I only have one member and she is weird and hates everyone! Therefore, I don’t bother with her but with pleasantries.
They are definitely typical insular Duchies folks, travel only on holiday and never been to the USA. They are often shocked when I tell them stuff about my country vs. here etc. They often say really silly things about my family and I assuming stuff that just is not true but they think is true. Lucky for me so far, my girls just smile politely but when home say boy are they stupid. I am like ignorance is not stupid okay you will have to teach them in a respectful way. I said this but I really don’t have a clue as to how to teach in a respectful way. I tried a couple times and got the Dutchies defensive and that sucked so now I just smile politely too and then ###### later to my hubby.
So anyone been through this and want to share and or offer some advice. I did not write this post to start some stupid Americans vs. Dutch people thing. I know prejudice is everywhere bla bla bla But I live here and this is my problem here in NL.
This is quite a sensitive issue and I would be happy to help either via telephone, skype or on private email. My email address is chalks.corriette@yahoo.com
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