Hi all,

Im new here. So hellos to you all!! I have a bit of a problem, or shall I say an seemingly unsolvable issue that i'm stuck with.

About me: Im single, 25 yrs old born and partly raised in Africa and Holland to a Dutch father and African mom. Yes im halfcast. I have lived my life across two continents for most of my life, going to school here, then in Africa. After my graduation from Uni here in Holland I found a job as Marketeer, I love my job, it pays well and I bought a lovely appartment in the Centre of A'dam after just 3 months of working! Its been a year now and I have just made my bonus so I'm doing great!

During my studies there was a big international community of students making it easy to mingle with like minded people for fun and parties. A natural thing would be dating each other, which happened regularly. Now, most have gone back to their countries. I have since then briefly dated Dutch girls but soon discovered that I simply do not have "that" Dutch of a mentality.. eg. I like to watch Mythbusters and "Keeping up appearances" and "The Office" on BBC, they liked Dutch talkshows and bloody Idols.. Bit of a mismatch as you an imagine. Not forgetting that they can be very demanding. (this is just my experience)

So I have been looking to meet nice international girls. You know, pretty, with a job that’s here for the longer term.. only problem is, I cannot find anyone!! Really i've looked!! The thought of meeting a nice girl has become a lost hope, seriously! and I'm a good looking guy!
The international girls I meet that are nice people to hang out with (and possibly date) are all here because of their Dutch boyfriends, Sigh***

We all know that Dutch culture is not the most inviting but I’m lost here. So, anyone who can offer some advice on how to meet some (non tourist) international friends and/or ladyfriends in this city.. pls let me in on your secret :-)

Greets
E

Oh my friend. Asking this, is like ask the secret of life.

Hahaha...

...well, I have the same problem as you. The only difference is that I didn't date dutch girls. Not for any particular reason, the fact is that I am really new in here (4 months) and I do not have friends, that is making even more difficult.

I am not THAT worried about this, but I think that there are lot of people that have the same "problem".

We share this feeling of emptiness (if that's the word)...(or the feeling)

Good luck!
There is a soulmate for everyone, if it is that you are searching, don't worry you are going to find her sooner or later.

:wink: :wink: :wink:

Ha ha fair enough

I'm also not THAT worried too but you do notice that things are done differently here.

Every international I speak with feels that they are missing something here and for me the thought of having to actively look for friends (and a girlfriend) is foreign. It seems weird because I'm a happy and social guy :-)
This is something i'm not used to.

There was a show on the BBC called "the Happiness factor" which explored what makes humans truly happy in life. One of their findings is that having friends around you is more important than having any amount of money!

Makes you think

I think any foreigner will feel something missing everywhere except their homeland becoz it is natural tendency. We can't avoid even escape from that feeling and it is honest to accept it on face then to hide it and growing it into wrong direction. 8) Now for such situation it is better to respect others cultures, country and place and try to visit with them to their place just to make them happy and feel respected.

I feel there is nothing such thing called as foreign or local if two people love each other and have equal respect then there is no such relationship better then that .

I also appreciate the views of BBC program.

So you just try to adjust with your partner their likes and dislikes don't try to hide your dislike of their likes, try to be honest and see it will work.
I feel girls are not so complex in matters which we think are hard to understand by them, just try and you will see it was as easy as saying sorry to someone. :x which may be hard for someone
You see what I mean.

Cheers,
The good :evil:

How about going to a dating site?

A lot of locals actually look for dates online. Some of them might be international minded. There might be some foreigners looking for love on local online dating sites too. You never know.

If you are interested in languages, maybe you sign up for a language class. The ratio of men to women is usually 1:10. Same goes for ballroom dancing.

Good luck.

Oh, btw, did you check the expatica's online dating? There are a few women around your age.

exactly.. a few

If you are so handsome, why didnt you add a pic on your profile

Gr. Selma

Probably because until this new Dec 2007 version of the forum there was no profile pic function.

A few female friends of mine have tried the speed dating circuit (mostly via Expatica). Always seems to be the same outcome - they discuss the men they've 'dated' during the intervals with the other women there and come away with an expanded social circle......of more female friends!

Doesn't help with their love life, but clearly good for their social scene.


Their accounts of going to tango/ballroom/salsa dancing is no different - the only men there were either already with someone or gay. So as long as you can put up with the dancing, there is no doubt you'd certainly meet a number of single women. My friends were always moaning about having to dance with other women, due to the lack of male dance partners.

Hi, I sorry if this is a tangent, but I saw that show too and it really good. Also kind of annoying sense they managed to distill all the important things in life into a life into nifty list, which makes my endless pondering a total waste of time. (still time better spent than in front of dutch tv.) I moved here to be with my dutch boyfriend and its working well, but just about everything else was a challenge.

I am also working in marketing in amsterdam, and I just moved last Jan to Holland. Socialising in Ireland is different to here and I thought it would be "grand" as we say, but not really. I have to put a lot of energy in here to build up relationships. It all seemed easier at home somehow and I don't just pin it all on language or some mysterious cultural x factor.
But hey, you can't give up, I'm still glad I moved and I am still learning more about myself here than I ever would in a cushy no problems life somewhere else- which I used to find boring.and that is the worst thing of all.

contact me if you want to be in touch, and you never know, I might be a new friend......
if i find an new female friend, maybe she's the one for you....

Ha ha ha ..that's funny that the girls expanded their social circle....I thought i was only one in the boat. We tried meeting a few expat girls. We went out like 2 times with a group of 10 girls and a few guys. We made a yahoo group to keep in touch. Few days later girls decided to have girls only events and that went on for a while. And they came up with the idea of making expat girls only group and told guys that they could go ahead with a boys only group.

Phew...

It has been difficult to meet women. Dutch women or international women...Most international women that are here are on the basis of a partner.

I guess you are not the only one in the boat. No hints on how to meet women.

Expatica dating is bullshit. Women come and they just increase their social circle.

Hey people,

I moved here almost 2 years ago, made a lot of friends, dated a couple of guys and am now in a relationship with another expat. So it does happen..

I agree the Dutch are a strange lot to date and also not socially open.

Anyways, if you want to meet fun and friendly expats and make more friends, try:
- meetin.org (it's not a dating site but you will meet a lot of people and do a lot of fun things)
- yahoo group - youngexpats (also a nice bunch of people who meet up for drinks quite often)

Good luck with meeting nice people and maybe finding the one you are looking for..

hey, try online dating..... its fun!