I've been living in Germany for the last 18 years & if there is just one thing that boils me & still does.... is rudeness. Just last weekend, I was inside a Media Markt checking out some CD's. I would say that between the CD cabinet and myself, there was a space of 15" inches. There was enough room behind me for a truck to drive by (ok, I'm exagerating ! :-))) This "bone-head" walks not behind me but in front of my view and myself while I'm standing there checking out these CD's. While he continued walking without having a "clue", I blurted out, "Sie werden entschuldigt !!" You're excused ! He turned around & looked at me funny-like & confused and said "Bitte" ?? I told him that he could've walked behind me without walking in my space. It seemed like he still didn't get it. Another episode, that truly got me, was the time that I was paying for some gas at a Esso tankstelle (gas station). I was using my credit card & waiting for my receipt when here come's this "hero" with a "pin stripe suit" & reaches over with his hand and over my shoulder to pay the cashier for his gas. I looked at him straight in the eye & told him to do two things: 1) Wait his turn & 2) back off ! He turned red as a tomato. He was also embarassed by this as even the cashier and the other customers gave him a look. I still love it here & overall these are isolated incidents. Don't be afraid to hold your ground & speak up if needed. Being an expat, native from New York City -- I have no problem with doing this.

Hi,
I totally agree with you. I´m german myself but don´t like rude people. Then again these kind of things happened to me while I was living in England as well. There are mad people everywhere. As I live in Berlin people say what they think. And if someone is rude they speak it out loud. Like this morning there was a bike in front of the exit door of the S-Bahn. So a woman was asking whose bike that is. No one said anything :-)
But honestly I prefer people who show what they think rather than fake people who just act like they´re friendly and they just give a shit about you.

Hi Katheim,-

Yes, it can happen anywhere in the world ! No doubt about that. Some humans just don't realize their actions when focused on doing something quickly.

:-))

How's life in Berlin these days ?

Quote:

I've been living in Germany for the last 18 years & if there is just one thing that boils me & still does.... is rudeness. Just last weekend, I was inside a Media Markt checking out some CD's. I would say that between the CD cabinet and myself, there was a space of 15" inches. There was enough room behind me for a truck to drive by (ok, I'm exagerating ! :-))) This "bone-head" walks not behind me but in front of my view and myself while I'm standing there checking out these CD's. While he continued walking without having a "clue", I blurted out, "Sie werden entschuldigt !!" You're excused ! He turned around & looked at me funny-like & confused and said "Bitte" ?? I told him that he could've walked behind me without walking in my space. Seems like he still didn't get it. Another episode, that truly got me, was the time that I was paying for some gas at a Esso tankstelle (gas station). I was using my credit card & waiting for my receipt when here come's this "hero" with a "pin stripe suit" & reaches over with his hand and over my shoulder to pay the cashier for his gas. I looked at him straight in the eye & told him to do two things: 1) Wait his turn & 2) back off ! He turned red as a tomato. He was also embarassed by this as even the cashier and the other customers gave him a look. I still love it here & overall these are isolated incidents. Don't be afraid to hold your ground & speak up if needed. Being an expat, native from New York City -- I have no problem with doing this.

************************************

That guy went red in the face because he has no way of expressing himself verbally.

So many Germans do this, it's their behavior from being repressed.

Hi Don,

Berlin is lovely. Just moved here in February but it has always been my favourite city. Where in Germany do you live then?

Hello again ! I'm in Kaiserslautern (Rheinland Pfalz). Nice place but I rather be in Berlin myself as well. I spent some time there two years ago & I felt right at home (I'm from New York City). Berlin had it's share of sirens and traffic !

I loved it.

:-)

Quote:

Hi Katheim,-

Yes, it can happen anywhere in the world ! No doubt about that. Some humans just don't realize their actions when focused on doing something quickly.

:-))

How's life in Berlin these days ?

************************************

can happen anywhere else? so why do you post it here in the "German Culture" section with the open lines:
"I've been living in Germany for the last 18 years & if there is just one thing that boils me & still does.... "
This to me says that this is a German issue and not something that happens everywhere else on the planet!

forgive me if i'm wrong in making assumptions here!

But it's a more "prevalent" issue here in Germany. Just an honest opinion. I've visited Belgium, Holland & other euro countries as well & seen it but not as much. Either way, I love it here. As I said before, these are just some isolated incidents.

This has happened to me often too, people waiting in line behind you get so close that you can feel their breath on you’re your neck. I am still undecided on why this is, I like to believe that the Germanys just like to snuggle! but I am more inclined to think they are constantly looking for a place to cut in while not having someone cut in front of them, this theory is most obvious on the autobahn leave a car length and 1/1000th of an inch between you and the car in front of you and someone will try to squeeze in. (and that at 200Km/h)

But really its our cultural believe that we have some invisible no fly zone around us, I agree that no one not even the Germanys like to have someone in their face but judging from my experiences many consider buzzing the tower ok.

Quote:
But honestly I prefer people who show what they think rather than fake people who just act like they´re friendly and they just give a shit about you.

************************************

How do you confuse being polite with being fake? When you bump into someone or accidently step in front of them, the polite thing to do is to say excuse me. There is absolutely nothing fake about that. There are certain societal norms that we have to obey to live comfortably in a society. Unfortunately in Germany a lot of these norms get ignored. As you said it does happen everywhere but it's far more prevelant here.

Quote:

I've been living in Germany for the last 18 years & if there is just one thing that boils me & still does.... is rudeness. Just last weekend, I was inside a Media Markt checking out some CD's. I would say that between the CD cabinet and myself, there was a space of 15" inches. There was enough room behind me for a truck to drive by (ok, I'm exagerating ! :-))) This "bone-head" walks not behind me but in front of my view and myself while I'm standing there checking out these CD's. While he continued walking without having a "clue", I blurted out, "Sie werden entschuldigt !!" You're excused ! He turned around & looked at me funny-like & confused and said "Bitte" ?? I told him that he could've walked behind me without walking in my space. It seemed like he still didn't get it. Another episode, that truly got me, was the time that I was paying for some gas at a Esso tankstelle (gas station). I was using my credit card & waiting for my receipt when here come's this "hero" with a "pin stripe suit" & reaches over with his hand and over my shoulder to pay the cashier for his gas. I looked at him straight in the eye & told him to do two things: 1) Wait his turn & 2) back off ! He turned red as a tomato. He was also embarassed by this as even the cashier and the other customers gave him a look. I still love it here & overall these are isolated incidents. Don't be afraid to hold your ground & speak up if needed. Being an expat, native from New York City -- I have no problem with doing this.

************************************

oh !! get a load of this !! you're from fucked-up New York and you're complaining ??@#$@#!!!!!!!!!!!!

This really requires me to do some major ass-kicking when I get there !!!


And chief !! guess what ?!! it's gonna be soon !! veeerrryy sssoooonnn !!

Hey moon...ooppss "sunny boy". Watch out for those "gangstas" in New York. They prey on temperamental folks like you. Peace out.

If you think Germans are rude, then you either live in some crap provincial part of Germany, e.g. Bavaria or you`ve never lived in London.

If you think that Germans are rude, try visiting the Philippines!

Quote:

I've been living in Germany for the last 18 years & if there is just one thing that boils me & still does.... is rudeness. Just last weekend, I was inside a Media Markt checking out some CD's. I would say that between the CD cabinet and myself, there was a space of 15" inches. There was enough room behind me for a truck to drive by (ok, I'm exagerating ! :-))) This "bone-head" walks not behind me but in front of my view and myself while I'm standing there checking out these CD's. While he continued walking without having a "clue", I blurted out, "Sie werden entschuldigt !!" You're excused ! He turned around & looked at me funny-like & confused and said "Bitte" ?? I told him that he could've walked behind me without walking in my space. It seemed like he still didn't get it. Another episode, that truly got me, was the time that I was paying for some gas at a Esso tankstelle (gas station). I was using my credit card & waiting for my receipt when here come's this "hero" with a "pin stripe suit" & reaches over with his hand and over my shoulder to pay the cashier for his gas. I looked at him straight in the eye & told him to do two things: 1) Wait his turn & 2) back off ! He turned red as a tomato. He was also embarassed by this as even the cashier and the other customers gave him a look. I still love it here & overall these are isolated incidents. Don't be afraid to hold your ground & speak up if needed. Being an expat, native from New York City -- I have no problem with doing this.

************************************
I just have to add, I have been all around the world and I do beleive Germans over-all offer the worst customer service and enjoy telling other people how to do things and seem to love screaming at other people. Why can't they just try to be more friendly? After living here, I find myself getting fed up easily. Now when someone attacks me, I attack back. I have never gotten so easily irritated until living here. Too many people are anal!! Now I know what Freud was talking about.

I just have to add, I have been all around the world and I do beleive Germans over-all offer the worst customer service and enjoy telling other people how to do things and seem to love screaming at other people. Why can't they just try to be more friendly? After living here, I find myself getting fed up easily. Now when someone attacks me, I attack back. I have never gotten so easily irritated until living here. Too many people are anal!! Now I know what Freud was talking about.

************************************

you all should live in holland. then you would beg to be allowed to go back to germany...

LMFAO!! <img src="../images/emoticons/yalaugh.gif">
.
I know Germans. There are one or two Germans I don't like much.

I know Americans I don't much like.
I know Bermudans I don't much like.
I know Channel Islanders I don't much like.

Well that's worked through ABC - do I have to work through the whole effing alphabet?

I have SEEN the enemy! He is within! he is me!

I've lived in a lot of places. I've met a few (a very few) people I *really* don't like. I think I know how to get on with people ... it's actualy quite simple.

Say 'Hi! I'm new here - please help me.'

If possible, say it in their language (not neccesarily in *their* dialect, but if you can, it helps.)

Remember the advert: "Just DO it!"

Germansmay (and do) have their own morés, their own culture and a bunch of other things. They are also extremely friendly. If YOU put out the message "I'm an arsehole they will react accordingly. If you send the message "Hey, I'm new here, I need help" you will be overwhelmed.

I move around a bit. I've moved 32 times in the last 30 years ... life's hard, but it didn't come with warranties.

"I've been everywhere, man, Crossed the deserts bare, man I've breatherd the mountain air, man Of travel I've had my share, man"

J. Cash propounds a fair analysis of my life. Been there, seen it, done it, got the T-shirt (and probably made a buck or two out of selling T-shirts.)

When you go somewhere and you find that the people don't like you (are you listening, Doc?)

The chances are that *YOU* are the problem. Either you change, or you move.

Life just won't work if you stay where you are and bitch. ...

It just doesn't work that way. Believe me - or if yOu have the time, emulate me and WHEN YOU'VE REPEATED MY MISTAKES, *then* BELIEVE ME <img src="../images/emoticons/yalaugh.gif">

I liked what you wrote but having said that, how does this relates to being plain rude (anywhere in this world for that matter & NOT JUST IN GERMANY) as to what you've written here:

"When you go somewhere and you find that the people don't like you (are you listening, Doc?)

The chances are that *YOU* are the problem. Either you change, or you move."


So, does that means if someone cut's in front of me in a line or bumps into me without an apology... that *I* AM the problem ?? Don't think so.

:-)

Being the slow- paced demure American southern belle that I am, for the three months I have lived in Germany, I have struggled with:

1. Being beeped at incessantly while driving;
2. Having my groceries pushed at me because I did not move fast enough;
3. Being barked at in stores when I have to take a little longer to weigh, measure, or read;
4. Having my parking ticket removed from a machine for me while I was trying to figure out how much I owed and where to put the ticket and the money.
5. Having a cucumber removed from the scale and thrown in my basket for me because it is “PER STUCK”
6. …

I can't say if this characteristic is more prevalent in Germans, but I can say I have lived in 23 places and traveled the world extensively and never noted it as much or been as bothered by it.

It bugs me--no, it REALLY bugs me. And I have spent considerable time thinking about it and trying to figure this out. I've come up with a reaction to it and perhaps an explanation.

First my reaction when it happens: When someone barks orders at me in the store or treats me in a very impatient way--I simply smile at them and in my very best slow southern American accent I say "Peace—calm down –everything will be ok, I am new around here" as I first flash a peace sign and then I open both hands and move them slowly downward. Try it sometime and be sure the smile is as authentic as you can muster. Often the person ends up helping meJ (I can’t assure this works with middle-aged women though. being one myself. We middle-aged woman seem to have our moments when our hormones rage and that sweet little grocery cart that we had to put a 1 Euro deposit on resembles a bumper car and the person behind it looks just like our first husband –or his mother).

My attempt at explaining this: I've noted that Germans are very concerned politeness and following protocols for politeness. Think about they way they say good-bye. They do everything but promise to name their first born child after the person they are saying good bye to and it doesn’t matter if that person is the lady slicing bread or their best friend. The barking, impatience, etc seems in direct contradiction with being polite and considerate of the next person--valuing politeness—no? But maybe not if you think about it this way. Most people value their time. I know I do and I find it very rude when people waste my time---in fact, most of us would agree it is rude to waste the time of other people. Most frequently I find people being pushy in places that people go for functionality—to the store to get groceries, at the parking ticket so they can pay and get the heck out of dodge. You get my idea. They aren’t social places. So if I were fully functioning (bless my little old American heart and my lack of skills with both the German language and the German system), it would be rude of me to dilly dally around and waste the time of others.

But for now, I am not—so I flash peace signs and smiles.

My compliments on your technique:

"First my reaction when it happens: When someone barks orders at me in the store or treats me in a very impatient way--I simply smile at them and in my very best slow southern American accent I say "Peace—calm down –everything will be ok, I am new around here" as I first flash a peace sign and then I open both hands and move them slowly downward".

I myself, have been controlling myself from "shouting back" by pausing, counting to ten, smiling and just walking away. As I walk away, I give up the peace sign also. This really embarrases those with no manners. It works for me.

:-)