Hi there,

Ok very long story made short. My girlfriend and I were having an argument. She then got very physical and after some injuries to me I went to the police station down the road. They came to sort things out, which they did a little. After they left we started talking and then she got physical again and then i called the police again. They apologised for leaving in the first place and then arrested her. A major shocking ordeal for me and never been in that situation. I find out afterwards after speaking to her that she does not recollect some of the incidents. I did not know she had a few drinks earlier that night as I came home from a work party. She has a negative chemical reaction to alcohol in that she doesn't feel drunk or anything like anyone else but it affects her mind and she went into a rage. This is the first time she has done this.

OK so now that I know this I want to reverse the charges as she is doing the right thing and getting help to understand what happened to her. One problem, she is Columbian and as such after she was arrested was told that she will be given a court date straight away as she is non EU. So her passport and details are in every alerting system in the country and she can't even send money back to her family because her passport has obviously been blocked.

So how do I go about reversing what has happened and ensuring her details are not recorded long term against the charges or in the system?

Please only respond if you have knowledgeable advice, very much appreciated.

Please have her go to a doctor to document this condition and take it to court as evidence. then the judge can make the charge such that she is on probation and after some time the charge can be dropped if she stays on good behaviour

I don't think it was a good idea to have gone to the police, especially when you know she's outside of the EU.
Didn't you think of the possible problems she could have?

Er...what??? You think she should have been allowed to get away with assaulting and injuring someone, just because she comes from another country and it might cause problems for her??? That's insane.

Thanks for your understanding Camilla. I have thought many times if I did the right thing but believe me she was quite violent and I have the marks and scars to prove it. On the night the only form of remediation to cease the incident was to involve the police, even though as unfortunate as it was. Yes I did think that it may affect her by having an arrest record but then again people need to be held responsible for their actions. Unfortunately in this country they hold you very very responsible and seem to impact your lifestyle more than one would anticipate.

In the end after speaking to the police and speaking to the Dutch department of Justice, I have ended up sending them a letter explaining the situation and asked them to take what I say into consideration.

Like everything in this country, it comes down to a letter.

First, I am not a lawyer and no juridical counsellor, so what I state here is only my opinion.

What I know from different sources is that if you filled to the Police a penal law complaint against somebody, you are at liberty to cancel your complaint.

About she not being able to send money: the Netherlands does not have the authority to block somebody's passport (because this is a matter of national sovereignity of a foreign government). Only in cases that she is suspected of a very serious offence, her passport could be retained by the police, in order to prevent that he/she leaves the country. But, if the suspicion is hard enough, then she is simply arrested, instead of being her passport quit.

What might have happened is that she was registered as author of a felony. Generally, private companies (such as banks) do not have access to such data, because such data fall under privacy law. Therefore, the fact that she was registered as a fellon cannot seriously prevent her from sending money, because the banks which perform such transfers do not have access to the fellons registry.

If she gets a high monetary fine or a prison term, what might happen is that she will be denied the right to request naturalization after three years of living together with you under the same roof, in the Netherlands (but only in the case that she is not a Dutch subject already).

On the medical side of the story, you could think that she was given by somebody some drugs as Extasy or GHB, or whatever drug produces rage reactions. But, since the time has passed since then, it is very difficult to offer proof that this really happened.

Umm... is this the first time an incident like this occured with this woman? I ask because this kind of behavior .... usually has a 'history'.

You know Bedazzler .. you sound like a typical victim of spousal abuse only it's usually the woman that is in your position. First the 'hurting' ... then you wanna help the person that has just kicked your a**. All because .. they didn't know what they were doing. Um Um...

LOT's of people live like this!

I'm a woman and if a man ever laid his hands on me ... it would be over. I would be gone so fast it would make his head spin. I would then have him prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. He would be in so much flippin trouble.

I would NEVVVVVVVVVVER take him back. NEVER! It's called self-esteem and when you have a lot of this ... you can NEVER stay with someone that has hurt you.

Ever thought about how good life could be without an unstable person around? Don't sell yourself short.

I think if she has inflicted harm on you .. no matter the medical condition .. she will surely inflict harm on you again. Dude ... don't enable her to kick your a** again. DUH!

I am a strong advocate of following the law so your comment '... Unfortunately in this country they hold you very very responsible and seem to impact your lifestyle more than one would anticipate' ... is lame.

In THIS country and in any country in fact, a person should be held very, very responsible for their actions. What ... you think that after you called the cops twice ... they should not take you so seriously.

Do you see the flaw in your logic?

Furthermore, when you get a Residence permit here ... they make you sign papers and in there somewhere .. it says basically that you need to stay on the RIGHT side of the law or risk deportation. No country wants a bunch of crooks taking up residence in their country.

I say .. let her 'face the music' and if she gets deported ... (shrugs) she gets deported.

Move on and find someone that's not abusive because if you stay with this woman (just like all abuse victims) ... you will always have to sleep with one eye open ... because you never know what might set her off again.