A teenage boy comes home one night and announces to his father, "Dad. I just had sex for the very first time!".

Proud that his son feels able to confide in the information with him, the father says "Congratulations, son! If you ever need to know anything about sex, you know you just have to ask me.

"There is just one thing." replies the son. "How long's my arse going to hurt?".

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over on Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such an occasion, the girl tells him that after dinner she would like to have sex with him.

The boy is ecstatic, but he's never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacy to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about half an hour, tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he’d like to buy a 3-pack, 10-pack or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. “Oh, I’m so excited for you to meet my parents! Come on in!”

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl’s parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, “I had no idea you were this religious.” The boy turns, and whispers back, “I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.”

Good one ........

This one from myside:

It was the postmans last day before retirement. As he made his last delivery to one of the homes on his route a shaply young female appeared.

"It's your last day for delivering mail so why don't you come on in and have a nice lunch?" she inquired.

He tried to decline but she insisted, and to his surprise she had a table spread out with all sorts of foods and drinks. After an hour of eating he gave a slight sigh to which the young female asked, "Why don't you come upstairs for dessert?"

Again the postman tried to resist, and again she insisted, so he went upstairs and had "dessert" for over an hour. Now the postman was really greatful, smiling and wondering why he didn't retire more often. As he put on hls cloths the young woman kissed him on the forhead and tucked a dollar in his shirt. Now he was really surprised and said "I enjoyed the lunch and I reallllyyy enjoyed dessert, but I don't understand the dollar."

"Oh", she replied as she was slipping on her underwear, I told my husband last night that it was the mailman's last day - he said "Screw the mailman and give him a dollar", but the lunch was my idea.


Cheers,

Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha... all good jokes there.